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So I finally made it thought Christopher Paolini's latest plagiarization of Star Wars book Brisingr. Here are my first impressions.

Purple Prose: The purple prose seemed less. However I did let my eyes skim over many many passages so I don't know if it was really less or if it was just selective perception on my part.

Thesaurus rape: Stop abusing the thesaurus Paolini. Consider these sentence:

The shaman’s declamations were repeatedly truncated by gusts of wind, but Eragon caught snatches of the ancient language—strangely twisted and mispronounced—interspersed with dwarf and Urgal words, all of which were united by an archaic dialect of Eragon’s own tongue. What he understood caused him to shudder, for the sermon spoke of things best left unknown, of a malevolent hate that had festered for centuries in the dark caverns of people’s hearts before being allowed to flourish in the Riders’ absence, of blood and madness, and of foul rituals performed underneath a black moon.

Way to be pretentious and end up saying almost nothing. Here's a tip, the thesaurus doesn't make you look smart, at least not the way you use it.

Realism: Paolini knows nothing of warfare that much is clear. You don't automatically sentence a soldier to corporal punishment when he refuses to follow an order that would result in the deaths of himself as well as his entire unit. Yes, insubordination while in actual battle is a very serious charge, but that is why you hold a, you know court-martial to determine if there are any mitigating circumstances. Especially considering that Nasauda, the person who sentenced Roran to the punishment, bears some responsibility for raising such a moron as Edric to captain.

What Nasauda does here is set herself up as sole judge and jury, while pretending that she has no other choice. This does not make her seem like a fair and stern leader, reluctantly meting out well deserved punishment, but rather as an autocratic tyrant like the one she claims she is trying to depose.

Which brings us to

PalpatineGalbatorix and the Empire. What exactly is it that Galbatorix does that is so evil? Why do the Varden want to replace him? He doesn't interfere in the day-to-day running of people's life, not really. He does institute taxes and conscription for his wars, but that is the Varden's fault not his. What are the Varden trying to achieve? They used to be ruled by a military junta of dozens or hundreds of Dragon Riders. Now they are ruled by a single Dragon Rider.  So what are they trying to accomplish?

The problem here is that Paolini is a lazy plagiarizing coward. He copies ideas like 'The Evil Empire', 'The Brave Rebels' and 'zomg the Hero's father is the bad guy's right-hand' because he thinks they are 'cool' or that they can cause appropriate angst. The biggest problem, besides the blatant plagiarism is that Paolini does not have the courage to do anything with them. He wants the drama and the angst but he doesn't want to go through the trouble of dealing with any of the consequences that should logically follow.

So what do we end up with? We end up with an 'Evil Empire' and an "Evil Emperor' (King actually. Someone please explain to me why an empire does not have an emperor) which we are only told are evil. We have the 'Brave freedom fighting rebels' who come across as  autocratic terrorists. We have the 'Luke I am your father' angst from Eragon (which he promptly forgets in two paragraphs) only to be told that no, your father is Brom (like no-one saw that coming). Paolini is trying to have his cake and eat it too. Boring

In short this latest offering from Paolini is boring, unoriginal, absurd, Mary-Sue laden and just plain wrong. Don't waste your time or money on this abomination if you haven't already.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 21st, 2009 12:54 pm (UTC)
Paolini truly sucks.
Aug. 1st, 2009 07:22 pm (UTC)
It wasn't very good was it?
Sep. 12th, 2009 03:47 pm (UTC)
As an aside:
1.) where did you get your animated burning pentacle?
2.) is it alright to steal it?
Sep. 27th, 2009 06:35 am (UTC)
1.) I made it.
2.) Sure go ahead.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


Burning Elemental

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